Affairs of the Heart

Horary astrology may get more time onstage because it is meant to predict the future, but natal astrology deals in one area of human interest which often trumps even the chance to know the future. That is, love.

Of course, natal astrology is just as good with other kinds of relationships - anything from employers and employees, to parents and children, to friendships - and I personally get just as much of a kick out of the self-empowerment through self-awareness potential of personality astrology. But by and large, when people turn to natal astrology it's with relationship compatibility on the mind.

A number of books have been written on that subject, many of them talking about how one sign interacts with another. While generally informative, most use vague overviews to dodge the complexities that are inherent to using natal astrology to examine a relationship. For example, writers usually concentrate on the sign people are likely to know: the Sun Sign. So plenty of info is available about how Aries gets along with Scorpio, how Gemini and Sagittarius fight, the sex lives of Leos and Capricorns, and so on. But as I have noted before, the Sun Sign is but one of many parts of a individual's psychology.

Unfortunate as it may be for those seeking astrological insight, affairs of the heart are better determined by planets other than the commonly known Sun Sign. And even if you knew where to look, relationships as a whole are often complicated and messy. Of course, anyone who's been in one can tell you that.

Don't get me wrong, the Sun Sign can indeed be a factor. But then again, each planetary or House aspect in natal astrology is technically a factor. Emotional love, however, tends to be more easily seen through the Moon sign primarily, and Venus secondarily (more or less). This is often whitewashed in relationship books, probably to avoid a confusing explanation of How It All Works and also because most people don't know what their Moon and/or Venus signs are to begin with.

This means that two people with "traditionally incompatible" Sun Signs that also share compatible traits in areas like the Moon and Venus could very well find their way along quite nicely. I mean, lovers who are seen as "like night and day, yet so in love" are everywhere. And the reverse is true as well; for any two signs that are supposedly Super-Great-Totally-Awesome together, having a few planets or Houses out of sync can quickly result in zero chemistry. The Sun Sign cannot stand alone, and cannot account for the totality of one's personality.

In the same way, though, the Moon and Venus cannot account for love entirely either. As an example, take Mars, which has a great deal to do with our methods of problem-solving (via change). If two mostly compatible people have a pair of Mars aspects that just don't get along, then the first time there is a serious conflict in the relationship the love that two people previously enjoyed in serenity may suddenly find itself inside a battle zone, as both sides try to solve the issue in ways that just aren't acceptable to the other party.

If, in retrospect, those two people realize that they don't resolve conflicts together very well, that is also a problem which both sides may try to address in the name of love. And naturally, Mars will again come into play because they are problem solving again. Such a cycle can easily degenerate into all kinds of unhappiness, which isn't going to be a healthy relationship factor even if the compatibility of the Moon and Venus is solid.

That kind of problem may not be a "deal breaker" for the relationship either, but this is just an example of how using natal astrology for relationship issues is anything but cut-and-dry. Most people don't think in terms of planets, but they would recognize how it appears on the surface:

You love them with all your heart but...

Or perhaps something more familiar:

You once loved them with all your heart, but...

You might check out relationship books if you are a person inclined to do so. I suppose they can be insightful, for what they are worth. But in relationships, there are precious few simple answers.


Blogger weng said...

'...in relationships, there are precious few simple answers.'

i am uncontrollably busy today what's with all the preparation for an out-of-town planning (again?!?!?!) but i just can't seem to let this pass.

surely, i tend to think that perhaps there are certain explanations for the seemingly unexplained, no matter how elusive it may appear.

good piece, just what i need for a boring weekend!

1:55 AM  
Blogger Lasciate said...

True, and often the unexplained doesn't even need to be explained, it can be understood well enough.

Unless, like me, you get a kick out of discovery. :P

7:35 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Hello, glad to see you made it through the storm. I will have to check out some of these books. It might explain why I loved my first husband but could not live with him. Also why my second husband, who should not be a good sign for me to marry, is doing so well. I look forward to learning something new. Thanks for the insight. If you have a couple of authors or books you thought good for beginners, please let me know.

12:42 PM  
Blogger Lasciate said...

Linda Goodman (author of "Love Signs" as well as other astrological books) is a fairly good read, mostly because she writes smartly, and characterizes the signs very humanly. If you wanted to see the signs not just as traits, but as they interact with life, she's a good author to start with. The downside is that she concentrates mostly on the Sun Sign in her books.

"Parker's Astrology" is also something I'd recommend for beginners. It reads much like a textbook, mostly because that is pretty much what it is. To get a well-rounded idea of the concepts the majority of Western astrologers will agree upon, Parker's will do it.

12:57 PM  
Blogger VW said...

Wow. I had read Linda Goodman's Sun Signs. Did not know she had another one out. Found it at bookcloseouts.com and will order it. Thank you for the info. I will see if I can find Parker's as well. Thanks again. vw

2:24 PM  
Blogger LisaPal said...

I agree, the Sun sign is the easiest because you need so little info to determine it, but if it were that simple, surely we could just divide the population into twelvths and fish in the pool containing those with whom we're most compatible. I made a comment in an earlier post that I nailed the Sun sign of a stranger based on similarities to my then-current-now-former husband. Every so often, I am successful with that kind of thing.

But I also know that I bear few of the characteristics of my own Sun sign, (depending on the particular verison, as I have seen some that appear to be somewhat different), and perhaps more of those ascribed to the one that follows. My mother's obstitrician wanted to go fishing one September weekend and induced labor on all his expectant mothers one friday afternoon. Had he not, I might have had both feet planted firmly in Libra on the day of my birth. Maybe my soul knew this —or maybe it's just being in the cusp zone. It's really all so complex and I am not well versed in the subject.

I do, however, know where all my chart placements are, not that I really understand how they interact. You might just inspire me to seek to understand things better...

9:10 PM  

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